Week 5 – Make it a Short Week

Monday night. Mac is in Lego Heaven in the playroom, putting together the much-coveted StarWars MTT. Sailor and I are indulging in a late-night movie with popcorn and organic rootbeer. It’s almost 8:30pm. Mac accidentally stopped the movie while we were making popcorn and I have to queue it up again. “Stop! I want to watch that!” Sailor says, as a preview for Stuart Little 3 jots across the screen.
“What?” I ask, not stopping the DVD.
“That was Sewer?”
“Sewer?”
“You know. The little mouse.” He is so darn cute. “Part three-ee.” I laugh at him. I want to squeeze him he is so cute sometimes. Like just before when I sent him into the kitchen to make popcorn. He’s five now; I think he is up for the task. Poor Mac was not even allowed to eat popcorn when he was 6! I instruct him, step by step what to do. I hear kernels of popcorn bounce on the floor and look up from the Lego instructions. “Don’t worry. Everything’s under control,” says my little man as he walks across the kitchen floor in his brand-new and slightly too large boxer briefs from GAP Kids. In one hand he has the 1/8 cup scooper filled with kernels. His other hand hovers beneath to catch potential spillage. I watch him scoop kernels from the big popcorn bowl and load them into the hot air blower. I am laughing so hard at his cuteness. “The baby is making popcorn,” I whisper to Mac.
“Why are you guys so darn cute?” I ask my freckle-nose boy who is so intent on his Lego project.
“Because you raised us,” he says, seriously.

Later: Sailor asks, “Wanna see my snake? It’s a Boa Instrictor.”

Tuesday. We stay home for Rosh Hashanah. No, I am not religious. But my father prefers that we not attend school or classes and hey, who am I to argue with a day off from school. So we sleep in (I do, anyway, til after 8:30) and wake to find Mac has, true to his word finished his homework, which he did not want to do last night. The time noted on his homework sheets is 7:20 and 7:30. As in a.m. Funny how they are so easy to rise on non-school days. We plan a do-nothing day. Immediately upon my arise Mac needs help with the MTT. The colossal Lego project in the playroom. Apparently some pieces are missing from the pile of 4 million Legos Sailor and I sorted on Sunday evening. I find two pieces in something I built that is sitting in wait of its attachment to the mothership. But other pieces are missing as well and I suggest we dismantle the MTT, resort the pieces and begin again. My suggestion is met with hissing and booing.

One of the kids asks me if I am hungry and I request a bagel, knowing full well neither of them is capable of handling the big knife to slice the tiny bagel.

Mac disappears into the kitchen and minutes later returns with a tray. My breakfast. Toast. Soggy toast. “I microwaved it instead of toasting it.” With jelly. Saturday night’s leftover broccoli and tofu – cold and with too much sauce. “I poured the sauce and whoa! A lot came out.” And a glass of hot tea. Perfect. He is 7 now. I think I need to teach him how to cook. I tell him this is a wonderful breakfast and choke down as much as I can.

My mom calls. “Are you going out today?” No, I hadn’t planned on it. She needs the challah, the bread for the Rosh Hashanah dinner. $71 later we have 2 loaves of challah and 4 bags of groceries from Trader Joe’s. By dinner time, Sailor has new shoes to wear to the fancy meal and a haircut (he was starting to look like Sandy Duncan all of the sudden) and Mac has had his bangs trimmed.

We watch a DVD while waiting to go down to dinner. “Mommy,” Sailor whispers, “I know what sex is.”
Oh really? “What is it?”
Whispering still, “You take off your pants. And your underpants. And you snuggle up really close.”
“Yes, that is exactly right,” I tell him. What more needs to be said?
“And when I am a grownup I will do that!”
Oy!
“Yes. When you are a grownup. That means you have to be at least 18.”

Wednesday, 1:23pm. Sailor should be just finishing up a soccer class make-up right now. Instead he is in his bed. Why? Because he refused to play soccer and so we left. Why? I have no idea. “I hate soccer.” That is all he had to say. We will talk about this when he wakes up at 3:00 to go get Mac from school. I am way too stressed about Mac’s field trip tomorrow to even get into this with Sailor right now.

Mac’s field trip. I asked the teacher if I can drive him to the destination. She said to ask the principal. He ran it by the Public School Board. And emailed me back with very specific instructions. What a hassle. This morning Mac says he wants to go on the field trip tomorrow but he does not want me to drive him. So my choices are: drive him anyway; let him go on the bus and accompany him; let him go on the bus and stay home; take Mac and Sailor to the aquarium on our own field trip. No matter what I do I will be unhappy. I will be a bad parent. He will probably be happy if I let him go on the bus and accompany him. I have always hated field trips both as a student and as an adult and now as a parent I have no reason to feel any different. In desperation I post my problem on a mom website. I get all sorts of responses that pretty much all tell me to send him. Many suggest I go on the bus with him. But what I neglected to mention in my post was that I hate the bus for myself too. What good will it do to go on an unsafe bus to protect my child and leave behind my other child in my wake? I am so stressed and worried about this! What is my problem?

This morning Sailor went to his enrichment class. When it is over the parents get to come in and watch a video of the kids. They perform a very short play – acting out a story, really. “Did you get to play the bunny?” I ask him. “No. I played the mom,” he says. I watch the video and the thought of Sailor making his theatrical debut playing the mom is so funny I am biting the insides of my lips trying not to laugh out loud. I am shaking in my seat. This is hilariously funny to me but also I am so proud of him.

10pm. Mac changed his mind and is now afraid to go on his field trip cuz they do a mock fire and he is afraid it's real. And both boys are snoring so I think they may be getting sick. This school routine and all of Sailor's classes (and his mood swings all day!) are SO much more exhausting than our summer routine, even tho our summer days were jam packed. I feel so trapped by the 7am alarm and our need to be at school on time and today's freezing morning did not help one bit! I'm sorry to sound like I am complaining but the school year is starting to crash in on me again and it does not feel good at all!

Thursday
Mac backed out of the field trip so I slept in with Sailor in my arms becuz he wet the bed.

After French I take the boys to Erehwon in search of winter coats (baby, it’s COLD outside!), which we are sure to need sooner rather than later.
“These are so cute!” I say.
“But those are girls’ coats,” says Sailor.
“I know, but they are cute.”
“Yeah, but Mom, we are not girls!”

After dinner I find this note on the kitchen table. It was from yesterday sometime.
Sailor: I know King Fu! [Demonstrates some punching moves.]
Mac: That’s boxing.
Sailor: I know something what’s not boxing.

Friday. Sailor and I have been recruited to assist with picture day at Mac’s school. Sailor is a trooper, traipsing up and down the stairs and across the school over and over to get the classes and bring them back down to the auditorium. We encounter 7th graders who were worse at lining up than kindergarteners; 4th graders taller than me; teachers who treat their students with no respect; Mac’s teacher who was the most respectful of all to her students; and 12-year-olds who looked like they were 15. It was a very revealing day. And the witch who taught Mac last year was by far the worst, even deliberately mispronouncing my last name. For our morning of work we were given complimentary photo packages. A $33 package. What a nice perk!